If You Won the Lottery

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If You Won the Lottery

At 1:00 PM on Wednesdays and Sundays in Panama, you'll find the majority of the country glued to their radios and televisions, lottery numbers in hand or memorized. They wait as the many white balls tumble around in the round metal cage, and pray for luck. The special guest of the day plucks a ball from the mix, and then an attendant opens it to reveal the first number, holding it up dramatically for all to see. After the number is posted on the board, there's a commercial break. Then a second number. Commercial break. This continues until four numbers have been chosen for first prize, four for second, and four for third. 

Many Panamanians purchase tickets from the official Loteria Nacional de Beneficiencia, which translates to "National Lottery for Charity.” The money made by the National Lottery goes toward social programs such as free school lunches and academic scholarships. Alternatively, many Panamanians instead play chance (chahn-seh), an unofficial and technically illegal business in which individuals run their own small drawings using the National Lottery numbers. A chance vendor sells a certain quantity of each lottery number, jotting down buyers’ names in a small notebook, and must pay out prizes to anyone who wins. To be successful, on balance they must make more in sales than they pay out in winnings. Many Panamanians make a living selling lottery tickets – in rural areas vendors walk house to house, while in larger towns most gather on corners with their characteristic wooden stands and sell to passers-by. 

Lottery vendor Euclides takes a break from his trek while Digi peruses the numbers.

Lottery vendor Euclides takes a break from his trek while Digi peruses the numbers.

A woman selling tickets in Chitré, a provincial capital.

A woman selling tickets in Chitré, a provincial capital.

In the area where I lived, the vast majority of people play the lottery -- even those who don’t really have adequate expendable income for it. In a place where $15 a day (i.e. about $1.90 an hour) is considered a good wage, people often spend upwards of $20 a week on lottery tickets. One of my very responsible, levelheaded friends, Leandro, who is in his fifties and whose only income-generating job is selling chance, was one of those people. During a session on personal finances at a leadership workshop we attended together, he was shocked to add up his lottery spending and find it totaled more than $1000 per year.  I also noticed that people seemed to believe that they profited on balance, or at least broke even, when the reality of course is that nearly everyone comes out at a loss over time. 

To an outsider, this can be positively baffling. Whenever someone told me, “No hay plata,” i.e. “I’m broke,” I joked that they should spend less money on the lottery. But I had to remind myself that entertainment has value -- and the Panamanians I knew certainly derived a lot of enjoyment from guessing which numbers would be drawn, discussing the lottery with friends, and waiting to see which locals would win on Wednesday and Sunday. It might be the most exciting thing that happened all week. And I eventually remembered that many people in the U.S. spend an even greater proportion of their income on entertainment.

Plus, for Panamanians, the lottery is absolutely not a random process -- there are subtle supernatural forces at play, and there are ways to predict which numbers will win. If someone you know appears in a dream, you should purchase the numbers that correspond to their birth-date. When someone asked me, “¿Cual es su fecha?” – literally “What is your date?” – I knew I'd made an appearance in a dream of theirs, and they wanted to buy my birth-date in the lottery. 

My friend Yasmin considers #32 - my birth-date, March 2nd!

My friend Yasmin considers #32 - my birth-date, March 2nd!

Early on in my time in Panama, a new lottery game came out. It was called Buko Millionario and ran every Saturday. For a dollar you could buy a card with 16 numbers arranged in a grid, and in order to win you had to match a certain quantity of your numbers with those drawn.   

Two example Buko cards.

Two example Buko cards.

At first I thought, “Oh NO, not another lottery for people to waste their money on!” (I still think so, particularly because Buko Millionario was run by corrupt ex-President Ricardo Martinelli and no one ever seemed to win.) But I had a conversation one day that helped me see things a little differently.

I was walking a long way home from a birthday party with my fourteen-year-old friend Edilma, her mother, Zulai, and another young girl named Maria. It was a Friday and Zulai had purchased one Buko ticket for the next day. It started to rain, and I was the only one with an umbrella. They rushed to put the Buko ticket in my bag to keep it dry.

Esto nos va a sacar de la pobreza,” said Zulai with a wry smile, “This is going to get us out of poverty.”

This gave me great pause. I was raised with the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” narrative in the U.S., where the lottery is considered by many to be neither necessary nor particularly respectable because you can supposedly better your socioeconomic status through hard work. Not that I’ve had to do so, having grown up upper-middle class, but I was raised on my parents’ stories: after childhoods of instability and food stamps, they put themselves through college and went on to earn substantial and stable salaries for many years, eventually allowing them the nice suburban house and yearly family vacations with which I grew up. Thus the myth of the American Dream is reinforced, for those with the unacknowledged privilege that allows them to access it.

In Panama, the door of socioeconomic advancement has just begun to open, thanks in part to low-cost universities, abundant scholarships at all school levels, and family planning. Leandro and his four siblings couldn't continue school past sixth grade, but his two children made it all the way through college and have decently-paying jobs in the provincial capital, where they live. However, this is still a fairly recent development and not accessible to everyone. Many continue to scrape by, raising a family on the $8-15 per day standard for manual agricultural labor (up to $50/day if you’re applying toxic agrochemicals). Twenty years ago, $5/day was an excellent wage.

Zulai and family, dressed in their best for a school event.

Zulai and family, dressed in their best for a school event.

Zulai, now in her late thirties, had her first child at age 18. Her husband works nearly every day of the week, even the Sundays that most hold sacrosanct, usually running a chainsaw. At his pay rate and with four children in school, there’s no money left over for savings. Until her kids are working (the three oldest are in high school, two on track to college), the only hope she sees for economic advancement is the lottery.

I also wonder about the effects of living through the Torrijos and Noriega dictatorships, times in which opportunities were hardly merit-based – the money and opportunities went to the dictators’ family, friends, and political cronies. And in eras of authoritarian rule, benefits and consequences do not necessarily follow logically or proportionally from action. Maybe better to keep one’s head down than try to advance. One can perhaps understand the appeal of the lottery in such a situation.

Even now, Panama’s “democratic” government is still quite corrupt, giving preference to the wealthy and doling out opportunities to family and friends of politicians. If you’re signed up with a political party that doesn't win the election, you have to wait another five years for a chance at a government job. So much still feels out of people’s hands.  

As I walked with Zulai, Edilma, and Maria in a stretch of silence, I decided to pose the classic question: If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?

I answered first, to break the ice. “Si yo ganara Buko Millionario, I would travel all around South America. Then I’d use some of the money to rent an apartment wherever I end up living in the States. I’d give presents to my parents. And before all that, I’d take our youth group on trips all over Panama.”

I expected Zulai to say that if she won, she’d move to one of the bigger towns in the region, buy a nice, large house and a car, and maybe even take a trip to the U.S. I was wrong.

“I’m not moving out of my house until they take me to the cemetery to bury me,” she said, “I’d fix it up: finish the walls, give each of my kids their own room, put in glass windows and ceramic tiles … there’s so much I want to do with the house. I’d put in a dishwasher. I’d pay for my oldest daughter to stay in the dorms at her high school. I don’t want a car. I don’t need one. I’d use it all on the house.” 

I walked for a minute in silence, mulling over her response. Then I turned to thirteen-year-old Maria, sure she’d have something a little wilder in her lottery dreams. “I’d buy everything we need for the house,” she said, and proceeded to list off items like a stove, refrigerator, and dishwasher – she lived with her single father and two younger sisters, and for several years now had been doing all of the cooking and cleaning for the family. I'd seen the way men looked at her already-maturing body, and I worried she’d get pregnant before she could finish school. Even I found myself forgetting she was so young, thinking instead that she was sixteen or so and feeling startled every time I saw her in the 6th grade classroom.

Maria paused at the end of her list of household goods and glanced at me with a shy smile. “And I’d go visit California with you, Lauren.”

Maria.

Maria.


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Story and photos by Lauren Schwartzman. Lauren is an award-winning documentary filmmaker. She produced and directed the short documentary The Urban Forest. She is also a producer for the Posh Corps Podcast.


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Our Tour of Morocco

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Our Tour of Morocco

I just returned from a two week trip to Morocco. Socorra Camposanto returned to Morocco to play concerts in seven cities around the country, and I tagged along to document the tour. We traversed the length and breadth of the country, from Marrakesh to the Algerian border. The photos above are from Casablanca.

The photos above were taken in Tangier. The photos below were taken in Fes.

I'll be posting a podcast and a video about the trip in the coming weeks, but I wanted to share a few of the photos I captured along the way.

-Alan Toth

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Observations from an Outsider, A Non-PCV Perspective on Peace Corps

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Observations from an Outsider, A Non-PCV Perspective on Peace Corps

Fishing boat for hire in Westmoreland Parish Jamaica. By Jesse Toth

Fishing boat for hire in Westmoreland Parish Jamaica. By Jesse Toth

“I had a goat under my house and couldn’t sleep at all last night.” 

This is the type of statement I endearingly call, "Peace Corps people problems,” which is a humorous observation from an outsider of what the biggest complaints Peace Corps Volunteers (PCV's) face in their activities of daily living.  Certainly there are much bigger struggles for a PCV such as lack of access to modern-day amenities, language barriers, and struggles with acculturation.  However, as a professional counselor in the US, it is an interesting contrast to hear what is truly problematic for people attempting to assimilate into other cultures.  As my brother, Alan Toth, a returned PCV from South Africa once said upon his return to America, “Once you’ve lived 2 1/2 years of not knowing if you’re going to have enough water every day, you learn not to sweat the small stuff."

The author on a boat ride.

The author on a boat ride.

After accompanying my brother for the early part of his filming of Posh Corps in South Africa in 2013, and then again to Jamaica 2 years later, I got a small taste of this.  In the tiny village of Bundu, I got extremely sick and dehydrated, sliced my finger open while cutting aloe for a very bad sunburn, and became very homesick as I made many trips to the community toilet outside.  In Whitehouse, Jamaica, after getting swindled in Negril, and having something slipped in my drink at an all-inclusive resort, I feared life abroad might not be for me.  Even Alan commented that he got so used to the daily struggles and small disasters that he seemed not to notice them anymore, until having to witness me go through them and learn from my mistakes the hard way.

 

I asked Alan if he ever wanted to quit during his service he said, “All the time.”  On our trip to Jamaica, though, we met PCV Jordan Waldschmidt, who had roughly completed about a year of her service.  When I asked her about her own feelings of being homesick or dreams of leaving early, she surprisingly said she never once considered it.  I wondered if this had to do with the fact that she had gotten so many visitors throughout her term of service, family and friends who found convenience in her placement in Jamaica to get a much needed holiday.  Even in her closeness to the all-inclusive resorts, I was impressed by her spacious apartment which included modern-day kitchen appliances and a flush toilet in a cool-basement setting, which would be just as nice to stay as any little guest house in Westmoreland.  Still, Jordan was genuinely ecstatic when Alan offered her a bag of cereal and laundry detergent that he wasn’t going to find use for in the remainder of his stay. Proving to me that even with spacious accommodation, Jordan was still struggling.

PCV Jordan Waldschmidt

PCV Jordan Waldschmidt

We interviewed Jordan at both her living quarters and her assigned workplace called The Source, a modern-day internet cafe with WiFi, printing/scanning services, and computer classes.  Jordan’s pride and joy seemed to be her community garden project, which she had already accomplished a great deal by receiving fencing and had a significant amount of planting done.  She said her big goals were to have a community farmer’s market and construct a greenhouse out of plastic bottles.  Still, she admitted she often felt frustrated with her American sense of swift progress in a culture having less urgency to accomplish tasks.

Jordan discussed her Catholic upbringing and having a strong sense of guilt and duty to give back.  Driven by her doubts of whether she was “doing enough,” Jordan admitted she often pondered if she was really just pushing her own agenda versus really helping to meet the community’s needs.  This doesn’t seem uncommon to PCV’s.  My brother admitted that after a year of struggling with his original assignment, he kind of gave up and did his own thing due to the poor community involvement and lack of support from the Peace Corps administration.

In general, it is my impression that the bureaucracy of Peace Corps is a major contributor to PCV's terminating their service or becoming administratively separated (getting kicked out).  Only about 50% of the PCV's who actually make it through the lengthy application process actually complete their full term of 27 months.  There seems to be a cloud of blame over a PCV’s overall experience that rains down upon them if any hiccup whatsoever occurs.  I heard from one volunteer in South Africa who was sexually harassed and threatened by one of the villagers she was teaching at the local school.  She said that when it came to Peace Corps administration, she felt very uncomfortable at their insinuations that she was somehow responsible for causing the ordeal.

Jordan's puppy. Photo by Jesse Toth.

Jordan's puppy. Photo by Jesse Toth.

I had my own proxy dealings with Peace Corps administration as Alan and I tried to arrange interviews with PCV's in Jamaica. I was astonished by the number of people who initially said yes, then changed their minds and quit answering his calls.  We assumed this was after they requested permission to do a media interview, which is mandatory in Peace Corps.  In fact, Jordan mentioned a stern reminder she was given by Peace Corps administration, “keep in mind you are representing Jamaica.” This seemed to deter her from speaking much about what she originally wanted to discuss, which was her daily experience of harassment as a young, foreign woman.

Still, I think Peace Corps is a great organization that almost always changes a person for the better if they can stick out the daily hassles and navigate the system.  Maybe it just takes the right kind of person at the right time in their life.  As difficult as I can imagine it is to immerse oneself into a different culture, I think it is almost more difficult to reintegrate back into the US. I have seen similar depressive moods from several RPCVs in the first few months following their service as I have in many friends and clients who are US military veterans.  Also, similar to those veterans who continue to reenlist, there are many RPCVs who end up moving back to their country of service indefinitely.

Peace Corps is difficult, no matter how “posh” a country might be.  In the end, I think it all comes down to how persistent a person is to make it happen and how passionate they are to have an experience of a lifetime.  As for me, I chose to stay in my comfort-zone a little longer; but I respect and admire those who are serving for a greater good.

-Jesse Toth is a therapist and photographer. When she's not meeting Peace Corps volunteers in various countries around the world, she resides in New Haven Connecticut.

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The Entrepreneurs

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The Entrepreneurs

Just outside of Kingston Jamaica, is a shantytown called Riverton City. The small community is built right on the edges of the overloaded Riverton City Landfill, the main dumping ground for Kingston's waste. The landfill has a history of catching fire. Serious fires have occurred twelve times in the last ten years. The most recent fire was in March 2015. It burned for 6 days, and caused more then 3000 people in the area to seek medical treatment for respiratory issues. The National Environment and Planning Agency of Jamaica has just recently released a report confirming that the most recent fire released 29 toxins into the atmosphere, including the cancer-causing chemical benzine.

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Riverton City

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Riverton City

I've spent the last week in Riverton City, on the outskirts of Kingston Jamaica. Riverton is right at the edge of the rather overloaded Kingston landfill. I was shooting at a make-shift foundry. A group of men who live in Riverton collect scrap aluminum from the landfill, melt it down in a homemade furnace, and recast it in molds made of river sand. This complex process takes place in a shanty workshop with only the most basic materials.  It's an incredible sight.

Mark Treuenfels served as a Peace Corps volunteer in Riverton, and he made this group his main project. He came along on this shoot to help us capture the process, and the remarkable men who forge aluminum products from the most basic materials. He took these candid photos throughout the week in Riverton, as we captured the community which has built a livelihood around the landfill.

Mark's Blog Post

I'd like to thank Mark for all his help. Fifteen years after his Peace Corps service, Mark is still dedicated to the project. He travels back to Riverton annually, and he still hopes to increase the profitability of the project, for both himself, and for the men in Riverton. He's the perfect example of a social entrepreneur.

Look for this video in the coming months, and a podcast about the project in about a week.

-Alan Toth

-photos by Mark Treuenfels

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